Sunday, August 29, 2010
Desert Song
Everyone have their own life journey and marathon to run, no doubt we will have to face different seasons in life, be it sweet, bitter, sorrowful and so on..a worship video that reminds us that no matter what we do have a reason to give thanks for..
Know that our love ones will always be there, waiting for us, reachingtheir hands to help us as we journey through, they may not be wt us forever, but God is wt us forever! Claim the promise n hang on..when there seems to be no reason for us to give thanks, take a look at every part of flesh that we r made up of, every vessel that ensures that our lives continues on..this is also one of the reason we can constantly give thanks for.
We may wan ppl to love us in a manner, but certain times when they dont do, it doesnt mean that they dont love us anymore, because they r trying to love us in a way so that they could give their all..circumstances does change..but hearts dont, God dont. He is the same ytd, today n tmr. We may hate how life is...
Worship Videos
Had to import all the worship videos which i have posted up on fb here instead...need to remove them from fb because am gonna add some of e family members and if they see it, i will be dead! But i hesitated for quite a while b4 deciding to do this..had been avoiding them for a long time, had been on fb since 2007/2008..and whenever they add me, i will ignore their request but i cant find reasonable reasons to substantiate for it. However, these videos holds a very impt position in my heart-they represents memories, change (positive), hope and love. These videos had been with me since 2008, hopefully they will forever be by my side, accompanying through different stages of my life.
Here are e 9 Videos as well as their comments which i took down from fb:
And particularly 3videos remained deeply etched in my mind because that was when i first went on stage, facing thousands and doing my part to "lead" worship. The 3 videos are: Reaching for you ; Hillsong United-I'm Not Ashamed - With Subtitles ; Hillsong - All Of My Days
Of course, there are other songs which i had come into contact with..but these are what remained in my mind..perhaps because of the words, or maybe e actions which i am required to do at that time.
There are also songs which i personally like very much..songs which i "led worship" for e cell..these are all wonderful songs and memories that had became part of me...merely by listening to some of them tonight had lift up my spirit quite a lot. :)
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Embarrassing Dinner:(
Tonight had a dinner out with grandma, a few uncles and aunties...well..totally a screwed up one..grandma wanted to try out e dishes at CW's dad's restaurant..but when we went there, e restaurant was closed because of a dinner function they are holding...so well..no choice, we went down to other teochew restaurant nearby for dinner...atmosphere was very awkward, or rather i think e problem lies wt me..just felt so terrible inside. That Fri i still spoke to CW abt it and he didnt mentioned anything abt it. Well...that just taught me a lesson.
I actually didnt had my fill..no appetite at all..just praying to finish dinner and leave that place asap. Gd thing that this isnt e actual birthday dinner...otherwise i will get killed on e spot!! PHEW!!-.-||| So I keep telling and reminding myself that i am gonna make sure that i don screw up grandma's 90th birthday celebration. So i am going to pay close attention even to e slightest/smallest detail possible. Am going to book e tables n dishes, order e cake and go there to prepare earlier...am thinking of having some surprises on e birthday itself too..hmmm...hopefully i would get some inspiration for that. That day, will be e day when YOUnique would hold our final event as well...gonna be really a long long hectic day..fortunately it's already after exams!:)
Looking forward to e badminton game n KTV wt e girls after exams too..And after that, it's time to prepare for e trip on 29th Sep. Seriously time flies..this time round, again, heavy responsibilities, everything lies on me because we will be bringing grandma out..both grandma n auntie's legs are too weak for long distance walking/travelling..have another 2auntie n mum wt me..well..i would have to help wt all e luggages, being e youngest and determined as e "strongest"..besides me, e youngest among them is my aunt whose is already close to 50, n oldest is grandma who is 90...OOPS OOPS...so yes, i have to take special note and attention abt everything, help wt check in, check out, filling up e documents etc etc..just pray it will be a fruitful and fulfilling trip wt e family.:)
Haiz..bad news..is that i wont be able to finish 2modules by tonight..1module yes..too many sudden change in plans..hopefully i push myself hard enough to get some results out..1 more wk!!! It looks as if it is very long but time really flies...!!! Gotta go n start work!
Again, JIAYOU LSY!!! For God's glory, give it ALL YOU HAVE!:D
Start of Something New?
Was too exhausted after i came back from Charity Golf & Street Sale debrief last nite..fell asleep while using the laptop and left it switched on and charging till 5plus in the morning..got a thrashing from Mum.. ..
Charity Golf event was rather an eye-opening experience. Saw a lot of different things/people/environment...i was still thinking how to get myself motivated and charged up, how to take time off to go to e beach to relax a bit..well..going there solves it all..was a relaxing environment wt greenery..though it was drizzling e entire day, but cooling and got quite some revelations while thinking about life, found out some things i actually still didnt know abt myself. Really thankful for the place and was talking to e MCP abt business stuff, abt life, abt e project, well..though our brain was more in a relexation mode, e conversation value-added a fair bit to me. The event start me thinking abt business again..hmmmm..and i was quite motivated too, because i told myself that one day i will be back! Not really because of e prestige, the fame, the power that being there represents, but rather a comfortable environment, a place whereby its conducive to work, to relax and to be wt as a family..n since young, i have been wanting to learn golf..so i told myself that i have to work hard enough and get myself a place in this club, bring my parents here and spend time here listening and receiving God's word.
There are lots of problems we are encountering for YOUnique too..its getting quite challenging..esp when each day is drawing nearer to the final event..just pray that God's hands will lead, guide and bless all of us. I always believe that there must be a reason why He gave us this platform to work wt TCS. And precisely because its TCS and not any other organisation, my heart feel for it and drives me to do my best. TCS is a place where God's hands had brought me to, transformed my life and its a place where God's favours are..n i know that by putting in every single bit of effort, God is able to multiply it and touch many of the hearts and lives of the beneficiaries..so I pray that no matter what is to come, i will continue to trust, to have a heart of faith to believe God miracles which had been vivid throughout this project.
I started the revision marathon too..I was so tired that i slept through the entire morning and almost half of the afternoon after brunch...so only manage to start somewhere in the nite..but well..its gd so far..i should be able to finish up 2modules by tmr nite..hopefully studying through the nite today will wrap up POA, so tmr i can clear BMGT..haiz, Mon cant touch, too bad..Tue and Wed will focus to clear MAEC...then i will be back on schedule and will be safe!!:D haha..
Just have this feeling that God is starting something new in my life..whether is in e family, in e circles of frens, in spiritual life or any other things taking place in my life now.
JIAYOU LSY!:D
Charity Golf event was rather an eye-opening experience. Saw a lot of different things/people/environment...i was still thinking how to get myself motivated and charged up, how to take time off to go to e beach to relax a bit..well..going there solves it all..was a relaxing environment wt greenery..though it was drizzling e entire day, but cooling and got quite some revelations while thinking about life, found out some things i actually still didnt know abt myself. Really thankful for the place and was talking to e MCP abt business stuff, abt life, abt e project, well..though our brain was more in a relexation mode, e conversation value-added a fair bit to me. The event start me thinking abt business again..hmmmm..and i was quite motivated too, because i told myself that one day i will be back! Not really because of e prestige, the fame, the power that being there represents, but rather a comfortable environment, a place whereby its conducive to work, to relax and to be wt as a family..n since young, i have been wanting to learn golf..so i told myself that i have to work hard enough and get myself a place in this club, bring my parents here and spend time here listening and receiving God's word.
There are lots of problems we are encountering for YOUnique too..its getting quite challenging..esp when each day is drawing nearer to the final event..just pray that God's hands will lead, guide and bless all of us. I always believe that there must be a reason why He gave us this platform to work wt TCS. And precisely because its TCS and not any other organisation, my heart feel for it and drives me to do my best. TCS is a place where God's hands had brought me to, transformed my life and its a place where God's favours are..n i know that by putting in every single bit of effort, God is able to multiply it and touch many of the hearts and lives of the beneficiaries..so I pray that no matter what is to come, i will continue to trust, to have a heart of faith to believe God miracles which had been vivid throughout this project.
I started the revision marathon too..I was so tired that i slept through the entire morning and almost half of the afternoon after brunch...so only manage to start somewhere in the nite..but well..its gd so far..i should be able to finish up 2modules by tmr nite..hopefully studying through the nite today will wrap up POA, so tmr i can clear BMGT..haiz, Mon cant touch, too bad..Tue and Wed will focus to clear MAEC...then i will be back on schedule and will be safe!!:D haha..
Just have this feeling that God is starting something new in my life..whether is in e family, in e circles of frens, in spiritual life or any other things taking place in my life now.
JIAYOU LSY!:D
Friday, August 20, 2010
Life & Study Marathon
When i was running through the blog, to see what to change (like the wallpaper..coz Megan said its e same one as e MCP..hmmm...so i better change it..wahaha)..i realised abt e 1st post on this blog, which is what i wrote last nite..it is e exact same day when i accepted Christ 3yrs back, or rather that was e very 1st time i stepped into church. Probably God is trying to say something..hmmm..:)
Anyway, am really grateful, because right now deep in my heart, i really know that i have let go of whatever that i need to, whatever that shouldnt be part of me..i am really so delightful..no words can describe such happiness now..i never thot i could let go n never thot that letting go can bring me so far.. ..life is really like a marathon too..everyone have different distance to run and different timing to complete, different obstacles along e way, different stamina etc etc..
Today i was reminded of e movie marathon we were having 2yrs back(if i don remember wrongly)..haha, that was great..but we just couldnt pull through till e next day..then i was reminded of how i used to stay up to study when exams r round e corner in Sec3..there was this time when i didnt sleep for e entire 2days 2nite..besides eating n showering once, e rest of e time was on books, notes and trying out papers..i was still fretting of how to finish revising for exams ytd, then today this came to mind...maybe i should just have a study/revision marathon?!:D
But again, that requires quite some planning, as well as lots of discipline to carry out..i need to get a whole tons of lollipops again..haha..that's my secret weapon that keeps me alert for the entire nite..but seriously if i do that, i will damage my own health..so maybe besides sleeping 6hrs, showering twice, and having e 3meals, e rest of the time i should just mug n mug n mug..that will be abt 15hrs of study time in a day..hmmm...maybe that works..will look into that in deeper detail..coz i should be left wt abt 5days for 4modules..argh...BIG BIG problem, man..need to squeeze out more time.. ..
Really look forward to tmr's charity golf event..yeah!:) Need to wake up at abt 8..so i better tie up loose ends of things and turn in for e nite soon..but seriously need some planning for e study marathon..otherwise, i might not pull through e exams...i cant let God, let myself, let my parents and everyone ard me down!! JIAYOU LSY, JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU!!!!!:D
Thursday, August 19, 2010
I AM BACK!! :D
Had been leaving this blog alone for quite some time..deleted all e previous posts out of a spiteful spirit at that time, thinking that there is absolutely no pt keeping them when things and circumstances had already changed.
Well..the worse ordeal in my life had already passed..and now i could finally appreciate e meaning of letting go and having gone through so much, i finally knew what love really meant to me. Before i even realised it, Poly life had started and 1st Sem exams is gonna start.. ..
Being at this place where i was called by God when i was Sec 2, feels really gd..but no doubt, its stressful..not because of e workload, simply at e fact that being in e corporate world, and everything abt business just seems so "cruel"..things/ppl/everything ard are just so practical..should life be even functioning in such a way??
No matter what, i decided to move on and go on wt whatever i can, i have, to continue to believe and insist in my own set of principles..if it takes for me to be backstabbed, for me to be sacrificed or what so ever, as long as God had called me to do so, as long as it can help even one person, i will do it. I remembered very very clearly,b4 i learn to trust ppl, i had to learn trusting myself, trusting God...n trust comes from love..n one thing that touches me till today, is that someone once told me then: "even if there is only one person on earth who God can/need to save, God will still sacrifice himself to save that one soul/sinner". Maybe today i feel that everything in e corporate world look so fake n ppl r just so practical, its coz i have already start judging..who am i to judge?!
At times, i will be practical as well, at times, i will also have bad thots in my mind, at times, i will always commit mistakes, i am also imperfect, so why i am having such thinking?
No matter what perhaps by looking at e different side of e coin would help me to face e corporate world in a different manner..yes, its tired, yes, it is really a chore to me..but throughout e 4yrs when i witnessed how God's hands moved through my life, how He brought me here today, how He paved e way and used me to make a difference, i cant help but to give thanks, to give praise.
If He can use such a person like me 4yrs back, someone who had a heart full of hatred for everything, someone who doesnt have any respect for anything, someone who believes she is useless n keep hurting herself in different ways, just to relieve herself from e much stronger emotional pain, which she is constantly suffering and struggling wt...if He can help me overcome all these, help me to start afresh, make me into someone who have a heart for everyone, have a heart that loves, that can finally feel all kind of emotions..then what exactly is too hard or impossible for Him?!
I thank God for ppl i met in poly too..that was e period where i am experiencing a different challenge in life-whether in family, spiritual life or friends ard me.. ..these ppl are a constant encouragement to me and gave me strength to move on..1st day of sch, ZiAi left a very deep impression on my mind, i had been constantly trying to find out why exactly i find her so familiar and e feeling is really quite scary at times..it seems that i have met her somewhere b4, which is impossible, it seems that this person is so so so...-i guess i can find no words to fully describe how exactly i feel..it just seem that i have known her for very long, but in fact, i never met her anywhere b4 that..only till recently, i found out why i had that kind of feeling..thanks to Yuen Fang who pointed something to my attention.
Haha..n recently this grp of frens reinforce something to me, they told me that i looked and seemed very scary-that was e 1st impression i left them, hahaha...that's really hilarious to me..esp when i heard what Yanni told me abt her 1st impression. Anyway, girls, thanks so much for the laughter, the joy, the times and everything..though like what ZiAi said, just a short period of time, i really appreciate and they were one of my life's happiest moment. I am very sorry that i am not gd wt words, at saying words of encouragement, at expressing my care and concerns as a fren..but there is just simply this invisible barrier when it comes to all those mushy words, hugs etc.. ...argh...goosebumps..AGAIN!.. ..
Recently life had returned back to normal..in fact after i hang out wt this grp of ppl, i became happier...ever since i was forced to leave church and everything that had happened in e family, i lost myself for a period of time, i totally forgotten the feeling of happiness and didnt know how to bring joy to everyone ard me..so i really thank God for them and i really thank God that through this grp of frens which He had blessed me wt, He had led me through e darkest storms in my life, leaving behind whatever burdens and hurts last yr.
Just that recently had been quite busy wt Project YOUnique..really need to find sometime to charge myself up..can feel my energy draining and e worse thing is that exams is less than 2 wks, n i haven even touch anything yet.. ..i better start cracking now.. ..haiz.. ...
With a heart of gratitude always; God may you continue bless this servant of yrs wt a humble heart at all circumstance, a heart that seeks u, a heart of compassion for everyone n would never turn away someone who needs help...may u continue to bless this heart wt strength, wt wisdom to discern n differentiate between gd n evil..Father, that yr hands will continue to guide even as i start revision. Open up my eyes to see things that is essential, beyond e superficial facts and open up my ears to listen to all things which are beneficial and relevant. May all things go accordingly to yr wishes, yr plans and for the furtherance of yr kingdom. Thank you God, In Jesus Name, Amen!
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